Wed, Feb 10, morning
Place:
Prayer closet. I'm thinking about the questions I've had from people about my prayer closet, especially since I've started this blog, and am bringing before the Lord what to say about it. I am thinking about what this prayer closet is to me.
Scripture:
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret ...
(Matthew 6:6 KJV)
My prayer:
Father, how do I describe it?
Abba whisper:
You know.
[I consider that despite being enclosed by no more than a curtain, this is a private place to meet God on the most intimate level. It is a private chamber for Him and me.]
Me:
What is this place to You?
Abba [I sense sadness in Him]:
Have you forgotten the pleasure?
[I know He means the pleasure of intimacy. I feel sad too, to think of days I've hesitated to be here, or been distracted. I don't specifically pray, but I feel Him knowing my thoughts.]
Abba:
You know how to lock a bedroom door, how to shut out distractions there.
[I understand His reference to marital intimacy, and the comparison to me being hesitant or distracted here.]
Me:
You're right. I'm sorry.
[I spend some time reminiscing on the many hours of joy I've had here, on all the times I could hardly wait to get here, could hardly tear myself away.]
Me:
Please help me rediscover the joy of meeting You here without fear of pain, without hesitation, without distraction. [Pause. I'm thinking again about how to describe this to readers.] Please help me know how to describe that being here is a pleasure not a duty, the way sex should be.
Abba:
You just did.
Me:
I can't say that! I can't compare this to sex so openly!
Abba:
It's what they'll understand.
[My mind is spinning. I'm grasping for words to veil the intimacy in a more reserved manner.]
Abba:
Isn't that how you meet Me here? Make the comparison.
Me:
When I come here, I am exposed to You at the same time I am at ease with You. I freely offer myself to You.
[silence]
Me:
You want me to say that?!
Abba:
Just speak the truth.