Wed, Jan 24 about 7:30 pm
I feel dead inside. I'm exhausted by grieving. I've skipped out on drama practice to seek a quiet place to read the Bible that's always given me comfort. If there's an isolated and unoccupied room at church on Wednesday night I've no idea where it is. My drama director suggests I locate the custodian and have him unlock a closet for me. A few feet from where I'm standing, I notice that the missionary closet has inadvertently been left open and I slip into it.
Scripture, Isaiah 40 (entire chapter); final verses, Isaiah 40:29-31 (NKJV):
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
There's something here I missed.
Okay, Lord, what do You want me to see that I'm missing?
Read chapter again. Reach final verses again.
I am waiting on You. Waiting. Bound together with You. Waiting, waiting, waiting and I don't even know what I'm waiting for or how much longer I can wait. I'm tired of feeling dead inside every evening when it's time to post and I can't post and Lord! I'm just sad and I don't want to be sad anymore.
I'm still missing something, aren't I?
What's the context?
Start reading backwards from chapter's end until I hit verse 27.
Scripture, Isaiah 40:27 (NKJV):
Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel:
"My way is hidden from the LORD,
And my just claim is passed over by my God"?
Understanding from Spirit:
The Lord is bound up with me. He is here with me. He is feeling everything I am. I need to wait. I need to have peace about His work, His timing.
Okay, Lord. Okay.